


Emma Swan & The Mommy Wars

by demoka



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dysfunctional Family, Family, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 01:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3591876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demoka/pseuds/demoka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snow White and Ingrid battling for Emma's affections? How bad could it get? ;D<br/>(Snow was NOT pregnant a second time in this verse)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lunch Troubles

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely crack. I hope you are as entertained by this as I am.

Sixty hugs in just three days. 

That was the current count according to Henry. He was encouraging them. Emma would have to have a word with him about enabling insanity. How he had time to chart these hugs in addition to his homework, Emma had no clue. And she definitely was not going to ask him for the figure of total hugs. Regina had made her displeasure known to Emma during a long phone call about wasting money for buying the coloured cardboard and markers to fuel his new hobby. Emma’s joke that this clearly indicated that Henry was going to be a statistician did not sit well with Regina. She had a loftier future in mind for him. Namely her throne. Er… her position as Mayor. 

Hugs from Snow. Hugs from Ingrid. They were never-ending. 

_Don’t get me wrong, I love that they love me. I love having a family that wants me. But it is just so…. Exhausting!_ thought Emma, locked in the bathroom of the Sheriff’s station. 

The fact that she was an adult who did not require any assistance whatsoever in dropping her pants and wiping was probably the only reason neither of her mothers has tried to enter the bathroom while she was in there. And yes, mothers, in the plural. Ingrid insisted on being recognised as her mother too, apparently taking to her new role with great relish, more than she ever did when she wanted Emma and Elsa as her sisters. And if you knew Ingrid, you would know that meant she was intense to the fucking limit. She kissed and hugged Emma whenever they were in the same room. 

Snow White was no slouch either. Ever since they had returned from Neverland, Snow had been checking in on Emma constantly in addition to the constant touching. Had she eaten yet? If yes, what did she eat? Was she getting enough sleep? Did she want to come over for dinner tonight? 

And after the whole Snow Queen tries to take over Storybrooke event blew over and Ingrid had become determined to rekindle her relationship with Emma, Snow had doubled her efforts. Now she didn’t even call before appearing.

‘Emma! Are you in there? I brought lunch!’ called Snow, rapping her knuckles against the door. 

Emma sighed despite the smile on her face. 

‘It’s your favourite!’ came the singsong addition. 

The grin on Emma’s face grew wider as she unlocked the door. She stepped out of the bathroom and straight into the embrace of Snow White. _Sixty-one._

‘Hey Mom. You really didn’t have to bring a grilled cheese sandwich. Ingrid brought one over for me earlier,’ said Emma, regretting it the instant the words left her mouth. 

It hurt to watch Snow’s face fall, but Emma knew it had to be said. She’d find out sooner or later. And Emma’s always hated liars. She wasn’t going to become one because her Moms couldn’t get along. 

And Dad was no help. He actually found the whole situation hilarious and was as bad as Henry whenever either one of them got on a tangent about taking more care of Emma. Snow insisted on tucking Emma in every night. Ingrid would call everyone until she was able to ascertain where exactly Emma was and whom she was with. 

‘Oh? She brought you some lunch earlier? Is she trying to ruin your eating schedule?’ demanded Snow. 

Emma slowly placed her hands on Snow’s shoulders, ‘Mom. Relax. I haven’t eaten it yet. And here, since you’d brought one, we can eat it together.’ 

Snow looked up with teary eyes. 

‘Oh, Emma, that is a wonderful idea. I would love to have lunch with you, Baby,’ said Snow. 

‘Mom! Don’t call me that outside of the apartment!’ 

‘Why not? You are my baby.’ 

‘It’s embarrassing!’ 

‘No one is around. Don’t worry, Baby.’

Snow laughed at Emma’s expression, ‘Don’t pout. Even if you do look adorable when you pout.’ 

‘Mom!’ 

Emma couldn’t help but lean into Snow’s hand against her cheek. She returned Snow’s smile, ‘Okay, so let’s have lunch.’ 

*I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU BABY. I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU BABY.*

Both of them jumped at that ringtone blasting out of Emma’s phone. Emma’s grilled cheese collided with Emma’s face while the other hand grabbed at her butt. 

‘What the hell?’ 

Emma checked the caller ID. It was “Mommy”. _Figures_ thought Emma as she gave Snow an apologetic look, but it did nothing to erase the furious look on Snow’s face. 

‘Hi, Ingrid. What’s up?’ 

‘Emma, my sweet girl, why won’t you call me by my title?’ 

‘Fine, what’s up _Mom_?’ replied Emma, ignoring Snow’s squeak of indignation. 

‘Close enough dear. I just wanted to see if you had eaten your lunch yet. And I just wanted to let you know that I would love to see you at dinner tonight. Henry is welcome too, of course.’ 

‘Oh, thanks, but Henry and I were going to have dinner with Regina tonight.’ 

‘I see.’ 

Emma could hear the disappointment in Ingrid’s voice easily. _Ah man…_

‘I’ll have dinner with you tomorrow, if that’s okay with you?’ 

‘Of course! Call me later tonight so I know you’ve gotten home safely!’ 

‘Yeah, of course. Bye Ingrid.’

Emma ended the call and checked her phone. Yup. Ingrid had changed Snow’s caller ID to read “That Woman”. 

Emma sighed as she changed both IDs to “Mom Snow” and “Mom Ingrid” so that the next time either one of them decided to meddle they would see that she was not going to favour either one of them. 

‘I see she still has terrible taste in music,’ muttered Snow. 

Emma raised her brows in agreement. She checked the ringtone for Snow and found it played the violin screech from _Psycho_. 

With a smirk she changed the ringtone for both to _Greensleeves_. As far as she was concerned, it was suitable for the both of them.

‘Honey, it’s really sweet how you are being so… accommodating to the Snow Queen, but she really isn’t your problem. I am your mother and she was just a lady who fostered you for a brief time in your life. You don’t need her,’ said Snow. 

Emma sighed. 

‘Mom. I love you. With all my heart. But I love her too. Despite all the craziness, out of all my foster homes, she really did give me the best childhood, no matter how brief. If she hadn’t been crazy, I imagine she would have been my forever home.’ 

‘But she IS crazy. Still!’ exclaimed Snow. 

This time Emma hugged Snow. _It doesn’t count towards the tally if I initiate it._

‘Mom, relax. Ingrid isn’t going to do anything drastic. She just wants to reconnect with me. And I’m fine with that. I want to reconnect too.’

Snow’s face falls and it is ridiculous just how quickly it makes Emma hug her again, ‘And that doesn’t mean I love you any less, nor will I spend less time with you and Dad. I’ll make time for all of you.’

‘I might have known you were the reason for the short phone call, Snow White!’ 

Emma and Snow spun around to be met by the sudden appearance of Ingrid, who smiled as Emma reached out towards her, mistaking Emma checking for flesh or mirror double for an attempt at a hug. 

‘Oh, darling, I’m sorry. I was checking in on you. Had I know you wanted me close by, I would have come personally. Shall I escort you to Regina’s?’ 

‘No need!’ exclaimed Emma, relieved that Ingrid was only here via magic, impeding in any attempt by Snow to engage in a fist fight. 

‘As you can see, I’m safe, still at work and we’re finishing up lunch,’ continued Emma. 

‘I wish you had invited me for lunch,’ said Ingrid, clearly hurt. 

‘I didn’t invite Snow for lunch…’ began Emma.

She was cut off by a livid Snow, ‘She doesn’t need to invite her _mother_ for lunch. I am free to dine with _my child_ whenever it suits the both of us!’ 

‘Some mother you are! You threw her away!’ came the retort. 

‘MOMS! Can it!’

Emma looked at Snow first, ‘If you can’t behave I’m going to have to ask you to leave.’

Ingrid looked triumphant before Emma whirled on her, ‘And you have to turn off your mirror hologram thingy if you’re gonna be like that too. I have a Sheriff’s Department to run, I hope you both know!’

Both had the decency to look sheepish. 

TBC.....


	2. Dinner With The Family (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid and Snow invite themselves to the dinner at Regina's house.

‘Miss Swan! Care to explain why I now have to cater for three more people tonight?’ demanded Regina, hurriedly getting out more ingredients to supplement her usual lasagne fixings. 

Emma scratched the back of her head sheepishly. Somehow Snow and Ingrid had talked Emma into getting them invited to dinner tonight. Even though it was at Regina’s house. 

Emma couldn’t say no. To either of them. Ever. 

It was this weird Mom power they had.

Snow had of course reasoned that they needed to spend more time with both Henry and Regina, boosting family bonding time. And she had of course insisted that Charming attend, how could only half of her parents attend a family dinner? Never mind the fact that Regina probably didn’t want 

Ingrid had of course still been listening in and had made soft, but audible hurt noises over being left out, despite Emma promising over and over that she would have her all to herself the next night. 

Henry had wholeheartedly agreed, plying his mother with puppy dog eyes much to the Mayor’s chagrin. 

‘Are you sure this is a good idea, Henry? You know how… private your Mom is,’ commented Emma.

‘She’s needs to be around people more. It is a family dinner, so why wouldn’t they be welcome too?’ asked Henry. ‘Besides, isn’t it cool? I have two moms, you have two moms, and arguably since Mom was her mom for a little while, Gran has two moms too. It’s like another family trait we have!’ 

While Henry still had a healthy wariness of Ingrid, he was pretty much her best ally, next to Emma. She would bestow an occasional smile in his direction, but of course she really only had eyes for Emma. And in those moments, he knew for sure that the Snow Queen really loved Emma. 

Spending more time with Emma would be beneficial towards her redemption. Just like spending real quality time with him and Emma was helping the former Evil Queen integrate more fully into town life. She no longer sneered openly at Sneezy. If that wasn’t progress, nothing was. 

The evening had proceeded well enough, much to Regina’s relief. Snow and David had arrived with a trifle in hand. 

Regina had put on her politician’s smile and taken the dessert into the kitchen. 

‘A mess of a dessert. I suppose it’s fitting,’ she had muttered to herself.

Regina had of course prepared dessert, an apple strudel, perfectly devoid of any sultanas. Just the way Henry liked it. And apparently Emma, if the way she picked at hot cross buns was any indication. 

Ingrid had chosen a rather pricy bottle of red as her way of demonstrating gratefulness for not being turned away. As the only ice cream parlour in Storybrooke, Ingrid was able to get away with charging five dollars a scoop. Sure, people complained every time they visited Any Given Sundae, and yet they kept on coming. 

After much investigation, Emma is pretty sure that the going price of ice cream was the reason for the recent rise in crime amongst Storybrooke’s youth. Allowances could not keep up with the desire to have an icy treat almost every day after school, as she had found out from a rather teary Henry when he had found out that one of the girl’s at school had only been spending time with him because he was the only one who could afford to buy her a scoop of caramel sorbet. 

Emma had to remind Regina of the public outcry that would entail should she visit said girl to threaten her with no ice cream for the rest of her life for breaking her son’s heart. 

Snow of course had also had to make her opinion known on the subject. 

‘That woman is clearly a menace to society, if she can cause such a crisis for the town without even trying!’ 

‘Mom, it’s not Ingrid. It’s capitalism. Out there, in the real world? It’s so much worse than sky rocketing ice cream prices.’

Emma for one was not as concerned as she, Ingrid’s favourite person in the whole world, got free Rocky Road (or any other flavour she felt like) whenever she visited. She steered clear of Ingrid’s fancy pants line of veggie sorbets. Much to the Sheriff’s disgust Regina favoured them. Especially the chilli sorbet. But then she would, damned health freak and her weird kale and quinoa salads. 

Henry and Emma had suggested to Ingrid that she offer a school kid discount seeing as adults had jobs and could therefore afford her exorbitant prices. Upon Emma’s insistence that it would make her life so much easier, Ingrid had quickly agreed. 

Despite her misgivings, Regina somewhat liked Ingrid, if only because she so enjoyed antagonising Snow as much as she did. Although she did despise her inane cooings at the Sheriff. How anyone could cuddle and pet a grown woman the way you would a puppy was beyond her. 

‘Emma! Won’t you come and give me a hug?’ asked Ingrid, pointedly giving Snow a haughty look beforehand. 

Emma managed to extricate herself from Snow’s tight grip (‘Emma, no!’) and went to hug Ingrid. Emma had to then extricate herself from that hug too (number seventy-five) as Ingrid had begun trying to elongate their hugs as of late. 

‘Ok, well, I really should go and help Regina set the table,’ said Emma, disappearing before her mothers could begin their usual tug of war with her jacket. 

‘Would you like any help, my sweet Emma?’ (‘Snow! Ouch! You’re hurting my hand!’ ‘Oh, sorry Charming!’)

‘No, no! It’s all good. Just… relax until we call you!’ 

She squinted and pointed at Henry as she raced out of the room. Half of her body was through the doorway before she leaned her upper half back into the living room and pointed at her father. 

‘You too Dad.’ 

‘Huh?’ Charming gave Henry a confused look.

‘You and I are on guard duty,’ replied Henry, gesturing towards the two woman who were pretending to ignore each other. 

 

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Lots of exposition rather than the actual dinner... Part two will be written and posted once my stomach stops hurting like hell. And let it be known that I actually like trifle. Custard, cake, jelly, chocolate and cream, oh my!


	3. Dinner With The Family pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of chapter 2.

‘Is everything quite alright out there?’ 

‘Relax Regina. It’s your house. They won’t start any shit,’ replied Emma.

Regina stared at her for a moment before sighing and turning back to her nearly ready garlic and mushroom quinoa, ‘Very well, please take the honey-glazed carrots out to the dining room then.’ 

Emma only managed to take one step before a resounding shriek filled the mansion. She dashed out of the kitchen with the dish before Regina could yell “SWAAAN!”. 

‘What’s going on?!’ exclaimed Emma, making sure to gently place the dish of honeyed carrots on the dining table before making her way over to her hyperventilating mother. 

Snow was clutching at Charming with her legs around his waist. David wasn’t angry. In fact he looked like he was trying to hold in a laugh. Or a fart. Emma wasn’t sure. 

About a metre away Ingrid and Henry were laughing their heads off. Emma blinked several times in confusion before her eyes travelled down between the two parties and found the culprit. A spider. 

A fake one, but a very large one. 

She caught Ingrid’s eye and shared a fond look. Emma placed her hands on her hips, ‘Mom…’ 

Ingrid wiped away a tear from her eye, smiling at Emma and walked over to hug her. _Number seventy-six._

‘Oh, my darling, I am sorry if I caused you and Regina any alarm, but Henry asked me if I knew any jokes…’ she began. 

‘Henry!’ scolded Emma. 

Henry laughed again before he threw up his hands, ‘I’m sorry! I didn’t think Gran would actually be scared!’ 

Emma sighed and extricated herself from Ingrid’s cheek kisses and petting. She tried to ignore the soft murmur of disappointment from Ingrid. 

‘Are you okay Mom?’ she asked Snow. 

Snow inhaled deeply before she slowly climbed off Charming. Emma was impressed because she thought only people from Cirque Du Soleil could move their legs while keeping their upper torso’s still. Her Dad was pretty strong too if he was able to stand still that whole time too. He winked at her open mouthed expression. She scrunched up her face and punched him in the shoulder, ‘Dad!’

‘I’m fine, Emma. But I do need a hug,’ said Snow, wrapping her arms around Emma. _Seventy-seven._

‘Miss Swan! Your assistance is required!’ yelled Regina. 

Henry bolted into the kitchen, deciding he needed to help in placating his own Mom in this instance. 

Emma moved out of Snow’s embrace and fixed both of her mothers with a stern look, ‘We’re at Regina’s house. Try not to get me into any more trouble today, okay? She takes it out on me when you two pull this kind of shit.’

‘Emma! Language!’ scolded Snow. 

Ingrid didn’t look too impressed either, but didn’t say anything, almost as if she didn’t want to be seen agreeing with Snow White. 

‘Why don’t you go into the dining room now. I’m sure everything will be ready soon,’ suggested Emma. 

Charming made sure to stay in between the two women as they made their way into the dining room.

‘I trust all is now well?’ asked Regina, her voice betraying the fact that in fact, no, she did not think that Emma had everything under control.

‘Yes! Everything’s fine. Need any help, or shall I just take the lasagne out now?’ asked Emma.

‘Please do, but be careful dear, we wouldn’t want you to burn yourself. Goodness knows how much burn cream and bandaids your mothers will cover you with if you do,’ replied Regina. 

‘Yeah, yeah.’ 

Regina and Henry followed her out, Regina carrying the quinoa and Henry the extra salad. Emma snorted as her two mothers were sitting on one side, not next to one another though, a seat clearly meant for her between them. Ingrid was on the left of the table and Snow on the right. Charming was on the other side all by himself.

‘Sit next to me, won’t you Henry?’ Charming directed his attention to Henry with a faux-woeful expression. ‘No one wants to sit next to me.’ 

Snow ignored his pouting lips, eyes firmly on Emma. Ingrid’s were also. Ingrid had placed a chair on her left side and patted it when she caught Emma’s eye. 

‘Sit by me, my sweet girl,’ requested Ingrid. 

Emma looked at her pointedly, ‘I’ll be fine on this side.’ 

She sat in between them, very aware of the daggers Snow was shooting Ingrid’s way. Regina rolled her eyes and whipped the chair around the corner of the table to place it at the head of the table, her rightful place. 

‘This is…’ began Ingrid.

‘Oh, Regina, this spread looks delicious,’ interrupted Snow.

Regina narrowed her eyes at Snow, ‘Thank you, Snow.’ 

She turned to regard Ingrid, ‘What were you trying to say Ingrid?’ 

‘Oh, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your generosity in welcoming us all to your home at such short notice,’ said Ingrid. 

‘You are very welcome,’ replied Regina. 

Snow huffed at the snub, disdain clearly displayed on her face from the smile the two women were sharing right in front of her. 

Charming tried to contain his chuckling. 

Emma tried to contain her sigh. 

Henry tried to contain his mounting hysterics, not at all helped by Charming suddenly making a face at him, bug eyed and tongue out. 

‘So let’s eat!’ said Emma, her stomach growled its support. 

‘Yes, please!’ gasped Henry. 

‘Charming, would you mind serving from your end and I will start from mine,’ delegated Regina. 

Soon everyone was passing around plates until all were full with a bit from each dish. 

Emma dug into her food ravenously. All of the day’s excitement had sapped her strength. 

‘Oh Emma, my love, you work much too hard. Look at how ravenous you are. Here, have some more mashed potatoes,’ commented Ingrid, heaping several large spoonfuls on to Emma’s plate. 

Snow decided to keep silent this time, instead filling up Emma’s half empty cup and placing a bread roll on Emma’s plate. 

‘Thanks Mom. Thanks Mom.’

She kept on eating, eyes on her food at all times. She was afraid of seeing Charming and Henry smirking at her and of Regina glaring at her or worse, seeing Regina get amused by the scene too. 

It certainly didn’t help when Snow and Ingrid stopped occasionally to fill her plate up or cooed something inane like “That’s right, you eat all you need Emma.” or “Do you want more? Have some more. It looks like you want some more.”. 

‘Henry, dear, don’t forget to leave room for dessert,’ said Regina, before finishing up her last bite of quinoa. 

‘No problem, Mom! I didn’t get much of the mash anyways,’ he replied, smirking at Emma. 

Emma opened her mouth to make a retort, looked at her two mothers and then shut it again, deciding it was better to just suck it up. 

And then it hit her. 

Dessert. 

They would both want to feed it to her. And they had two desserts. 

Oh shit, she was going to the hospital tonight. 

Well, there was no point fighting the two sets of hands wiping at each corner of her mouth either. 

‘Oh Regina, the scent of your apple pie is absolutely divine,’ gushed Ingrid. ‘Emma, here my darling girl, have a bite of mine.’ 

Emma opened up her custard-marked mouth and accepted the proffered morsel. Regina simply smiled at the compliment from over her cup of coffee. 

Snow tutted and licked her thumb before using it to wipe away the custard smears. 

‘Mom!’ 

‘Honey, you need to keep your face clean,’ stated Snow. 

‘Oh my god,’ muttered Emma, glaring at Henry who was practically grasping at his face to stop the laughter from bursting forth. 

‘Regina, could you please direct me to your powder room?’ asked Ingrid. 

‘Of course, let me show you,’ replied Regina, ever the hostess. 

Ingrid couldn’t help but place a loving kiss on Emma’s head as she walked behind Emma to follow Regina. 

Henry quirked a brow at Emma. At first it looked like she was smiling then she had a peculiar look on her face. It didn’t look like it was a pleasant expression. 

Emma touched her stomach lightly. She had the weirdest feeling bubbling up inside of her. 

‘Uh, Emma? Are you okay?’ asked Henry, face now completely devoid of smirks.

‘Urp… Mm, I’m fine Henry,’ replied Emma, face screwed up in discomfort and hand near her mouth at the ready. 

Snow looked at Emma in concern, ‘Emma, honey? Are you sure you’re okay?’ 

‘I’m fine!’ snapped Emma.

Where Charming and Henry let out a gasp, Snow only blinked in reaction. 

Emma’s grimacing became worse as she tried to breathe deeply but found that it just made her feel worse. 

‘Emma, come here,’ said Snow White, getting up to stand next to Emma. 

Emma frowned at her, so Snow pulled her up towards her, manipulating her daughter so that Emma was facing her. It wasn’t until Snow had Emma pressed up against her that Emma twigged on to what her mother was about to do. 

‘Hey, no…!’ 

Snow began patting Emma on the back, hand occasionally swirling up and down in a bid to soothe her daughter’s tensed up torso. 

‘It’s okay, Emma. You’re okay,’ murmured Snow, tucking her chin towards Emma’s ear. 

She smiled as she felt Emma relax into her embrace. 

_Fine_ , thought Emma, _if she insists._

Henry sat up at the sound of Emma letting out a resounding belch. 

‘See, Baby? Don’t you feel better now?’ cooed Snow, still rubbing Emma’s back. 

‘Mmm, Mom…’ whined Emma. 

But she did feel better. Did this count as hug seventy-eight? 

‘What in the nine hells is that?!’ yelled Regina. 

Everyone rushed to the living room (Ingrid shuffling down the stairs included), finding Regina readying a fireball at the forgotten faux spider.

‘Regina! It’s fake!’ explained Emma. ‘I’ll get rid of it.’

As she moved towards the stairs Regina pointed at her accusingly, ‘And just WHERE do you think you are going with THAT THING?!’

‘To Henry’s room?’ 

‘Absolutely not! You take that out to the trash this instant!’ commanded Regina, now pointing to the front door. 

‘Yes, your Majesty.’

Henry made a token “Aw Mom” to Regina as Emma walked past him.

Both Ingrid and Snow smiled at the pout on Emma’s face, their own faces turning until they realised that they were smiling at each other, which promptly killed both smiles. 

Charming nudged Henry and they both shared a chuckle. 

 

TBC….


	4. Vegetable Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma visits Regina at her office. Regina laments that Snow and Ingrid let Emma eat pretty much anything she wants.

‘Miss Swan! Are they not feeding you enough at home? I thought that you have two mothers now!’ demanded Regina, finally cracking under the pressure of listening to food packets crinkling for the last ten minutes. 

That had been Emma’s second packet of Adventure Time cookies, spaced out by a pack of Twisties. 

Emma sucked the crumbs from her fingers, ‘Sorry Regina. Snow and Ingrid get this sad look in their eyes whenever I bring back leftovers. But it’s fine, I work it off with all the running around I do. If it’s not cats up trees again, it’s The Lost Boys causing havoc.’ 

‘Keep your grubby fingers to yourself!’ screeched Regina as Emma leant over, meaning to shift a stack of precariously balanced papers into a more secure position on Regina’s desk. 

‘I’ll do that! Why you placed them in such an idiotic position in the first place, I just don’t know. Go wash your hands! I see neither mothers have seen fit to instil any sense of hygiene in you!’ continued Regina. 

Emma raced out, but not before Regina got in once last comment before Emma could shut the door, ‘You are worse than Henry!’

‘Sheesh! You’d think raising and living with a kid would have made her immune to a little bit of muck,’ muttered Emma. 

She had to stop walking for moment, made a face and then let out a belch. Eh, Regina was out of earshot. 

Once her hands were free of cheese dust and Adventure Time crumbs, and were now fragrant with a hint of citrus, Emma went back into Regina’s office for the remainder of her daily debrief. 

‘So, Regina, what is your decision on my request for three ply toilet paper at the Sheriff’s station?’ 

Regina did not even look up from her computer screen. 

‘Denied.’

‘Why?!’ demanded Emma, throwing her hands up in exasperation. 

‘The Sheriff’s station has always had two ply, Graham never complained and it is the most cost effective.’

‘That’s bullshit! Graham never complained because he’s a dude. Guys never wipe properly! And they don’t have sensitive bits to wipe like we do! And I notice that the Mayor’s office has three ply, and more specifically your private toilet has four ply!’ argued Emma. 

‘WHEN DID YOU USE MY PRIVATE TOILET?!’ roared Regina, leaping up. 

Emma backed up, eyes wide at the flames dancing from the Mayor’s fingertips, ‘Relax Regina, I only went in there to blow my nose because your tissue box was out of tissues.’ 

Regina squinted at her, disbelief clearly displayed on her features, but she doused the fire and sat back down. 

‘Ignoring the fact that you were in my office without my knowledge or express permission, I purchase my toilet paper with my own money, not with Storybrooke’s money!’ retorted Regina. ‘The Mayor’s office often entertains important guests, so of course we have three ply. If the Sheriff wants three ply toilet paper, then the Sheriff will need to fork out her own cash.’

‘Fine! Whatever!’ 

‘Is that all for today, Miss Swan?’ 

‘Yes. But oh, don’t forget family dinner tonight.’

Regina rolled her eyes, ‘Oh yes, how could I forget our weekly dinner and a show. Will Snow and Ingrid be duelling it out once more over who is the better cook? I think I will feed Henry before we come over. The last time they BOTH served deep fried chicken!’ 

Emma blushed and scratched her head, ‘Uh yeah… That was kind of my fault. They asked me what I was craving… 

‘They should be looking out for you health, not your whims! Despite what you think, health is not just constant exercise. You do actually need to take care with the fuel you run on.’

‘Hey! I eat vegetables!’

‘Oh? Name some.’

Emma opened her mouth, and then closed it, accompanied with thoughtful expression. And then her mouth opened up again, victory shining in her eyes, ‘Lettuce, onion and tomato!’ 

‘Burger fixings barely rate.’ 

Emma frowns once more before pointing in Regina’s direction triumphantly, ‘Snow makes pumpkin scones. I eat those!’ 

‘Smothered in cheese. And don’t you dare say banana bread. That is, and always will be banana cake. Also, bananas are fruit.’

‘I know that,’ groused Emma. ‘Ingrid gives me carrot sticks when we watch movies.’

‘And is your dip of choice the fatty goodness of mayonnaise or do you actually eat them raw and untouched?’ demanded Regina. 

Emma frowned and then murmured a reply, choosing to look at the window behind Regina. 

‘What was that Miss Swan? I failed to hear your incoherent response.’ 

‘I said…!’ began Emma, her voice lowering in volume as she continued, ‘…I dip them in honey…’

‘Of course you do,’ sighed Regina. 

‘Relax Regina. Henry doesn’t eat like me. Your strict dietary requirements have actually rubbed of on him. He doesn’t share my penchant for fairy floss,’ said Emma. 

‘Yes, nor your love of chilli cheese fries, thank goodness for that,’ added Regina. 

 

to be continued....


	5. Cautious of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid is careful in wanting to spend more time with Emma. (okay, so we veer away from crack to some angst here...)

‘I LOVE MY MAMA!’ declared Wreck-It Ralph. ‘I LOVE MY MAMA!’ 

A hand shot out from underneath a doona, reaching about, scattering a wallet and keys on to the floor. 

‘Shit.’ 

“I LOVE MY MAMA!”

‘Oh, come on!’ growled Emma, head finally emerging to look for her cellphone. 

“I LOVE MY MAMA!”

At last Emma’s fingers found purchase around her cellphone. “I LOVE-” She hit the answer button, ‘Mamma? What’s wrong?’ 

After the first few times Ingrid spoke to her in what they had determined was this world’s equivalent of Norwegian, Emma had asked Ingrid what “Mommy” was in her language. It would appear that most languages all agreed upon some slight variation of “Mama”. 

‘Good morning Emma. _Jeg er glad i deg._ I love you.’

Emma dropped her face into her pillow, and then turned so that her mouth wasn’t covered, ‘I love you too, Mamma.’ 

‘Oh, it sounds like you’ve just woken up. Oh dear, my darling, did I wake you? I am sorry. You go back to sleep now.’ 

‘Mmm…. No, it’s okay Mamma. I should get up soon anyways. Why did you call?’ replied Emma, moving her legs out from under the covers so that she was kneeling with the right side of her head still on the pillow. ‘Are you okay?’

The happy tone returned to Ingrid’s voice, ‘I am fine Emma. My love, I was wondering if you would like to spend some time with me today.’

Emma quickly checked her calendar and messages. Nope, nothing from Snow. Awesome, a day without jealousy damage control. That was the best kind of day. 

‘I would love to Mamma. Did you want to do anything specific?’

‘What do you think of a movie?’ 

‘There’s nothing good out right now,’ commented Emma, wrinkling her nose at the thought of having to watch another copy and pasted romantic comedy. 

‘A favourite at my house then.’

Even better, she needed some downtime to get over her sore muscles after yesterday’s intense swordplay training with Snow and Charming. 

‘With ice cream?’ she asked hopefully. 

‘Always for you, Emma.’ 

‘Yeess,’ groaned Emma. ‘You’re the best. Okay if I come over after lunch?’

‘I can’t wait,’ replied Ingrid. 

And she meant it. Ingrid couldn’t wait, but she would. If someone were to ask her one thing Emma had ever taught her, it was to have patience. All her life, ever since she had spoken to the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, she had waited for the day to meet Emma. And when she finally had Emma in her care, she had gotten excited. She had forgotten herself and pushed. She had pushed Emma into showing her powers, and as a result had lost her. 

So this lesson she takes seriously. She will never ever push Emma again. Ingrid may want to spend all day long with Emma, but she will control herself. She may want to have breakfast and lunch with Emma, but she will settle for just lunch. 

In her moments alone, Ingrid would meditate upon new flavours of ice cream. So far, each and every new flavour Ingrid had developed had been given the moan of approval by Emma. 

She had hoped Emma would come over straight away, but if she had just awoken, that was a dream for sure. After lunch, that generally meant one or one thirty.

There are at least two hours standing between her and Emma. The first Ingrid would use to meditate her new ice cream endeavour. She had been tinkering with the idea of adding new textures with the help of Henry.

He had advised her that the biggest disappointment of eating an ice cream cookie sandwich was usually how wet the cookie was. He, and Emma of course, preferred their cookies crunchy or chewy. The current market was lacking in such a creation. 

She would utilise her remaining time by preparing and consuming a small meal. She never did eat much. She rarely exerted herself physically, although Emma had raised her own concerns in regards to the energy required to produce magic. She had thus been privy to a list of all the foods Regina had recommended to Emma for post magic lesson refuelling. Emma had been particularly pleased to report that JK Rowling had been spot on in regards to chocolate as a restorative morsel (although Regina had warned against white chocolate since it was devoid of the antioxidants that dark chocolate contained). 

Ingrid was currently enjoying her pasta month, with still a variety of dishes to try before moving on to another cuisine. 

\------- 

Emma relaxed into Ingrid’s hug from behind. 

_One hundred and eleven._

Ingrid smiled and nuzzled Emma’s cheek, ‘I hope you haven’t been cheating on me with Snow White.’

‘Mamma! That’s a term for people in a _sexual_ relationship!’ exclaimed Emma, extricating herself from Ingrid’s embrace to look the Snow Queen in the eye. ‘What have you been watching?! You need to find a different show to follow.’ 

Instead of a grin, there was a mix of consternation and realisation on Ingrid’s face. 

‘Oh dear… I suppose I had best put these away,’ murmured Ingrid, stepping away from Emma to extinguish the group of candles that had been burning away on the coffee table and placed them in the cupboard. 

Emma’s eyes widened, but she didn’t comment, not wanting to embarrass Ingrid. And yet, unfortunately, that was exactly how Ingrid felt right now, still facing the now closed cupboard. Her head was slightly bent. 

She gasped when she felt arms close around her waist, and Emma’s head landed on her right shoulder. 

‘I appreciate the thought behind the candles though, Mamma.’ 

‘You’re welcome,’ murmured Ingrid. 

As Emma let go, she shook off the fear from yet again doing something that could have scared off Emma. 

‘Now, what movie did you have in mind, my darling?’ asked Ingrid. 

‘I feel like watching Matilda.’ 

Ingrid smiles at her warmly. Though brief, that film had a better depiction of a found family. How fitting. 

‘You have wonderful taste, Emma.’ 

Emma gently pushed Ingrid towards the sofa, ‘Go, make yourself comfortable. I’ll get it set up.’ 

‘Don’t you want any snacks?’ asked Ingrid. 

Emma shook her head, ‘I’ll let you know if I get hungry later.’ 

Ingrid sat on one side of the couch, unsure of herself all of a sudden. Perhaps Emma wouldn’t appreciate snuggling on a couch either. She sat upright, in as neutral a position as she could. 

When pretended not to be too aware of Emma as the movie began. Emma elected flop down on the remainder of the sofa on her side, head in Ingrid’s lap. Ingrid maintained her breathing as Emma gently drew Ingrid’s right hand from its current place underneath her head to on top of her head. Ingrid tentatively moved it to stroke Emma’s hair. 

Emma emitted an agreeable sound, so Ingrid did it again. And again. 

By the time Lavender had planted the newt in Miss Trunchbull’s water jug, Emma had fallen asleep. 

 

 

TBC......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google Translate says _Jeg er glad i deg_ = I love you in Norwegian.


	6. Lines of Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma's still at Ingrid's and Snow doesn't know this. Cue a frantic Snow.

So caught up in the soft sensation of running her fingers through Emma’s hair, Ingrid failed to notice the near constant stream of buzzing coming from Emma’s phone. Earlier Snow White had sent a text but it had just been a text advising Emma that she loved her. Emma had almost woken from the music before Ingrid had been able to keep her finger on the button lowering the volume. 

And now it had been several hours since that first text. Now Emma’s phone had 50 texts and more than 30 missed calls. 

It wasn’t until her own phone started ringing that Ingrid was startled out of her trance. She quickly, but as gently as possible, slid out from under Emma’s slumbering form to stop the racket. 

‘Yes? Hello?’ 

‘Is Emma at your house?’ 

‘Hello Snow, how nice of you to call, yes, Emma is at my house.’ 

‘I KNEW IT!’ screeched Snow, Ingrid had to thrust the phone away from her ear. 

Ingrid wondered if it was worth having no hearing in her right ear, but one look at Emma’s sleeping face, she knew it was. 

‘Snow, dear, you need to calm down.’ 

‘I KNEW YOU WOULD BE MONOPOLISING MY BABY’S TIME, I JUST KNEW YOU HAVE HER TRAPPED IN YOUR CLUTCHES! I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT HER! I…’ 

‘Mamma? What’s with that screechy noise?’ asked Emma, rubbing at her eyes and yawning. 

‘Oh, now you’ve gone and woken her up,’ groused Ingrid. 

Ingrid put the phone facing down into the couch and sat next to Emma.

‘Nothing, my love, go back to sleep,’ said Ingrid, reaching out to stroke Emma’s face. 

Emma closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, but of course she couldn’t quite enjoy it as much as she would like with the seemingly scratchy record sound barely muffled by the couch cushion. Emma looked at Ingrid who only sighed and looked away. 

Emma picked up the phone, covering the earpiece and said, ‘Mom?’ 

‘I NEVER… Emma? Oh my darling, my sweet baby girl, are you alright?’ 

‘Yes, Mom. I’m fine, what’s the matter? Why are you so worked up and yelling at Mamma?’ 

‘Oh Emma, my dearest daughter, it’s so wonderful how nice you are to that woman, but surely you can see it’s all an act, she wants to take you away from me,’ Snow’s pitch increased as she continued on. 

Emma scrunched up her face, ‘Mom, what are you talking about? 

‘That woman. She’s purposely stopping me from getting in touch with you!’ 

Emma closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before replying, ‘Mom. Calm down. I was sleeping and okay, I see you’ve been trying to get in touch and I’m sorry, my phone was on silent, so I didn’t realise.’

‘Can you please come over now?’ 

It wasn’t healthy, but Emma couldn’t say no. 

‘Yes, okay Mom. See you soon.’ 

Emma put the phone back in its place. 

‘Mamma…’

‘It’s fine Emma. I understand. Your real mother comes first,’ said Ingrid, softly but clearly. 

‘No, it’s not like that. You both matter to me as much as the other. But I appreciate you being so understanding. I really enjoyed today, and I’m sorry I fell asleep.’

Ingrid shook her head, moving forward to embrace Emma. 

_One hundred and twelve._

‘I love you so much. You don’t ever need to apologise to me, my sweet Emma. A moment with you is worth a lifetime of waiting.’ 

Emma blushed and turned her head away, ‘Geez Mamma. You’re so cheesy, you should write for Hallmark.’

Ingrid smiled because she knew Emma was quite pleased with her so-called cheesy line.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?’ 

‘That would be lovely,’ said Ingrid, leaning forward to kiss Emma on her cheek and pulling her in for the one hundredth and thirteenth hug. 

\-------

Snow ran down the steps the moment she spied Emma’s bug pulling up. 

‘Emma!’ exclaimed Snow, rushing forwards with arms outstretched. 

Emma braced herself so that Snow didn’t send them both to the ground, ‘Hi Mom.’

_One hundred and fourteen._

‘Oh, Emma, I was so, so very worried!’ exclaimed Snow, running her hands all over Emma’s body. 

Had this been two weeks ago, Emma would have jumped away, but now she was used to it. It was Snow White’s way of making sure that Emma was there, that Emma was okay. 

As long as Snow’s hands did not linger anywhere for too long she was okay with it now. 

‘I wish you wouldn’t spend so much time with that woman.’ 

‘Mom…’ 

The warning tone was clear. Snow closed her eyes and then shrugged before opening them up again. 

‘You’re right. Emma, you are right. I must be nicer to Ingrid. It’s not very becoming of me, is it?’ 

‘You’re normally so warm and welcoming, so it really hurts her _and me_ when you’re so mean to her,’ said Emma. 

Snow pulled Emma against her once more, wrapping her arms around and placing her palms on Emma’s shoulders, and pressed her cheek against Emma’s cheek. 

_One hundred and fifteen._

‘I’m hurting you, aren’t I?’ 

Emma nodded slightly. Snow closed her eyes as she felt tears touch her skin. 

‘I’m so sorry Baby. I’ll do my best to stop hurting you from now on,’ whispered Snow. 

‘I… I love you both _so_ much it hurts. It hurts that you can’t both be happy when we’re together,’ said Emma, sniffles and hitches her breath interspersed as she said her piece. 

‘I’ll be better,’ whispered Snow White. ‘I promise.’

Snow slowly guided Emma into their home, not letting go until they reached the bathroom. Snow used a washcloth, and turned on the cold tap, letting the softness and coolness soothe Emma. She made sure to be as gentle as possible with each stroke across Emma’s skin.

Once she was finished, she led Emma to her and Charming’s bedroom, spooning Emma and softly singing her to sleep. 

 

TBC...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I am open to suggestions for this one. No promises, but I will definitely consider suggestions made.


End file.
